Archive for June 3rd, 2008


I Love the Smell of Spoofs in the Morning: Top 5 ‘Apocalypse Now’ Spoofs

“Mallrats” – “I love the smell of commerce in the morning,” Jay (Jayson Mewes) exclaims as him and his “hetero-lifemate” Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) enter the mall. Maybe not the best homage to the film, but wasn’t worse than any of the others.


“Small Soldiers” – “I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning…” With these words Chip Hazard (Tommy Lee Jones) of the Commando Elite wages war on the Gorgonites. Throw in the helicopter raids with “Ride of the Valkyrie,” playing in the background and even Lt. Col. Kilgore would have been proud.


“Hot Shots! Part Deux” – Topper Harley (Charlie Sheen) is on a boat, sent into Iraq to “bring back the men who were sent in to get the men who were sent in to get the men.” As he’s going up river he begins to narrate (“Somebody once wrote, “Hell is the impossibility of reason,”) when his narration his buried under the narration of Martin Sheen (“At first I thought they handed me the wrong dossier…”) who is on a boat heading the opposite direction. As they pass each other they stand and pointing, exclaim, “I loved you in ‘Wall Street.’” Great scene.


“Major Payne” – When Major Benson Payne (Damon Wayans) is sitting alone in an apartment, waiting for a new assignment as he grows “softer,” we’re clued-in that this comedy is going to have more than a passing nod to, “Apocalypse Now.” Throw in a few other quotes like, “You terminate his command?” or “Major Payne wiped out the enemy with extreme prejudice!” and it’s pretty well rounded-out.


“Porklips Now” – From Ernie Fosselius, the “everything” guy who did the spoof film, “Hardware Wars,” comes a complete spoof. Health inspector Will Dullard is sent to have a meeting with Mertz, the owner of a local meat processing shop, and “investigate with extreme prejudice.” From its opening of trees with smoke coming from a barbecue, to its music by “The Back Doors,” this is one you’ll have to catch.