Movies on DVD Review: Hancock

 

A superhero mess of a movie.

Starring Will Smith, Justin Bateman, and Charlize Theron. Directed by Peter Berg.

I’m glad I didn’t shell out money on this one.

Story: $mith is Hancock, an alcoholic, washed-up amnesia-victimized superhero living in L.A. who causes more harm and damage than good. When he saves the life of PR professional Ray Embrey (Bateman), Embrey decides to return the favor by representing Hancock. Hancock begins to clean up his act, starting with voluntary jail time. When crime rises 40%, the city calls Hancock back into action. After, he finds out a secret from Ray’s wife Mary (Theron) that threatens the Embreys as well as himself.

The movie can be divided into three parts, as I will demonstrate:

Part One: Everything you saw in the trailer. Everything. If you saw it in the trailer or on a TV spot, it’s within the first third of the movie. $mith is a drunken superhero. $mith saves lives but at a giant cost. $mith saves Bateman. Theron stares at $mith weirdly.

Part Two: Hancock tries redeeming himself. This was the best part of the movie in my opinion. $mith tries being nicer. He goes to jail. He’s released and saves the day with minimal injuries. Everything is going well until…

Part Three: The ‘plot twist.’ In a way that only M. Night Shamma-lamma-ding-dong can appreciate, $mith finds that he’s over 3,000 years old and was married to Theron, who is also a superhero. They have a gigantic fight that goes from the mountains to the middle of L.A. Meanwhile, a group of cons escape prison. $mith ends up in the hospital Theron tells him that as long as they’re near each other, their powers diminish. The convicts find them and war breaks out in the hospital. Theron is shot and nears death, $mith stops the convicts and flies away. Eventually, everything gets better.

The biggest problem with this movie, aside from the structure, are the leaps in logic (what is commonly referred to as “suspension of disbelief”). In the Information Age, why couldn’t he find out who he was by going to the library? Wouldn’t there be public records, newspaper articles, something to remind him of who he was? Secondly, if Theron and $mith become mortal by being around one another, why did Theron leave only to “pretend” to be mortal around Ray and his kid?

But maybe the biggest crime is having a superhero movie without an arch-nemesis. Three convicts escape prison to go and kick Hancock while he’s down? What kind of bull is that? Yeah, I saw “Superman 2” and while Superman gave up his powers and was mortal he did it with conviction and he paid for the consequences; it was a choice he made, not a “by the way, check this out” convenient plot point. Wait a moment… “Superman 2” had three escaped convicts who took on the Man of Steel while he was mortal. Thieves! You screenwriting THIEVES!

And yes, the “plot twist” is an interesting concept, but in the movie it felt extremely B.S.

Sadly, $mith is working on the sequel to this.

My grade: C-

Predicting the Box Office, Part III

When we last left off, Big Willie-style Fourth o’ July was goin’ on, and “Hancock” had one of the largest opening weekends of the summer. Let’s see how other movies have fared…

 

The next weekend released one of the better movies of July: “Hellboy 2: The Golden Army.” What shocked me were the differing opinions between the critics and the audience on the weekends. The critics hated “Hancock,” but loved “Hellboy 2”; conversely, the public went and saw “Hancock” and didn’t turn out for “Hellboy 2” like I had expected. Another release for that weekend was Brendan Fraser in “Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3-D,” which I was told you really DID need 3-D glasses for.

 

Eddie Murphy’s comedy “Meet Dave” opened at $5.2 million.

 

“Mamma Mia!” had an impressive opening as it could have hoped: $27,751,240. Why? Because of its competition: “The Dark Knight.” “TDK” kicked “Iron Man” and “Indy 4”’s opening weekends, raking in $158 million. It has since set box office records the least of which was biggest weekend box office opening. Whether it was the fact that it was a sequel to “Batman Begins,” or Heath Ledger’s last movie, or simply people who enjoy the work of Christopher Nolan, “The Dark Knight” has held the number one spot at the box office for the last month.

 

Believe it or not, I really DID want to believe, but the new “X-Files” movie let me down. With an opening of $10 million for the weekend, it was beaten out by the Will Ferrell/ John C. Reilly comedy “Step Brothers.” Whether it was the plot of “X-Files,” the fact that it’s been years since the series has been on the air, or maybe there are that many more fans for Ferrell and company as opposed to “The X-Files.”

 

We got a third “Mummy” movie, which was a slight disappointment at the B.O., only taking in $40 million. Its competition, “Swing Vote,” had one of the lowest openings for the summer as well. Was it the reviews of “Mummy 3” that kept people away, or are we already done with the franchise?

 

Batman continued his grip on the number one spot and if any movie could thwart him, it was “Pineapple Express.” However, Judd Apatow and company couldn’t pull that off, but did take in $23 mil for the weekend. Their competition, “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2,” brought in $10 mil.

 

Will anything break Batman’s stranglehold on the number one spot? This week we have the premiere of “Tropic Thunder.” If “Pineapple Express” couldn’t do it, this is the last chance.

 

Here are the rundown of the numbers for the summer:

 

Biggest Openings of the Summer:

 

“The Dark Knight”                    $158,411,483

“Indy 4”                                   $126,917,373

“Iron Man”                               $102,118,668

“Wall*E”                                  $63,087,526

“Hancock”                               $62,603,879

“”Kung Fu Panda”                    $60,239,130

“Sex and the City”                    $56,848,056

“The Incredible Hulk”               $55,414,050

“Narnia: Prince Caspian”          $55,034,805

“Wanted”                                 $50,927,085

 

 

And the Top Ten Cumulative for the Summer:

 

“The Dark Knight”                    $448,886,084

“Iron Man”                               $316,590,841

“Indy 4”                                   $314,819,219

“Hancock”                               $222,625,918

“Kung Fu Panda”                     $211,507,723

“Wall*E”                                  $211,332,152

“Sex and the City”                    $151,838,609

“Narnia: Prince Caspian”          $140,117,978

“The Incredible Hulk”               $133,932,430

“Wanted”                                 $132,802,780

Predicting the Box Office, Part II

Part I was a quizzical look at the Studios “search for more money.”

 

Welcome to Part II.

 

Have the Studios lost or gained for the summer of 2008? A lot of this is based on expectation. For example the new-kid-on-the-block Marvel Studios raked in money hand over fist with the release of “Iron Man.” In three days it took in $102 million; not bad.

 

Warner Bros. flooded money into “Speed Racer;” something to the tune of $250 million ($150 mil for the movie, $100 mil for the marketing). Unfortunately “Speed” lost gas quickly. It’s opening weekend it made $18.5 million and has so far accumulated $42.7 million. I don’t think you can blame it on the current fuel prices.

 

Disney packed a punch with its release of “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian.” Opening at Number One with a take of $55 million, “Caspian” held pretty well against its competitors and stayed in the Top Ten for a good month+. So far it’s made $138 million.

 

“Dr. Jones” set the summer’s 3-day box office weekend total. While $126 million is a lotta moolah, the Studio was disappointed it didn’t rake in its “projection” of $150 million. While it had a bigger opening weekend than “Iron Man,” it currently trails Tony Stark and company cumulatively by $5 million.

 

“Sex and the City.” I was really floored that this movie didn’t do better than it did. Opening weekend it made $56 million, beating out “Indy” by $1 million (in its second weekend). I was expecting “SATC” to make at least $100 million; every woman in my office area was planning on seeing it. Maybe it would have made more money if it had gone to Cable and was on Pay-Per-View. HBO would’ve raked in the cash…

 

In a summer that has fuel prices skyrocketing and pools shutting down, what do you do with the kids? The answer: go see “Kung Fu Panda.” This is the “little movie that could.” Studios had no expectations whatsoever on this kids flick and were pleasantly surprised (or dismayed) that its weekend box office was $60 million. That was higher than the opening for “Made of Honor,” “What Happens in Vegas,” “Speed Racer,” “Prince Caspian,” and “Sex and the City.” “Panda” continues to martial the art of box office earning with $193 million.

 

“The Happening” was released against “The Incredible Hulk.” This is a prime example of either not having enough faith in a movie (releasing it against something you KNOW will make money) or having too much faith in a movie (releasing against a movie that you think you can top). Either way, “The Happening’s” box office wasn’t happening; it made $30.5 million (but that was better than “Speed Racer’s” opening) The “Hulk” smashed the abomination of “The Happening,” taking in $55 million. Its current take is $124 million.

 

Another TV show-to-movie, “Get Smart,” was a disappointment; $38 million the first weekend. While it has climbed up to $100 million, it’ll probably make its profit from DVD sales and going to Cable. Meanwhile, “The Love Guru,” has crawled under the carpet making less than “Made of Honor’s” first weekend with $13 million. Ouch.

 

A kids movie versus a graphic novel-based movie. I was thinking that “Wall*E” would’ve kicked the box office for $100 million, but I was off. Taking in $3 million more than the opening for “Panda,” at $63 million the Earth’s last remaining robot did pretty well. “Wanted,” directed by the guy who did “Night Watch,” and “Day Watch,” held its own, taking in nearly $51 million. Going up against a kids movie, that’s impressive.

 

Which leads me to our stopping point: the July 4th weekend. With fuel and food rising and rising in cost, an unstoppable war, unemployment increasing and a nation standing on the edge of Depression, what can you count on? A blockbuster Will Smith Fourth of July movie. That movie: “Hancock.” Critics panning this movie didn’t stop everyone from seeing it; $66 million in three days. I was disappointed in the fact that I saw a commercial claiming that “Hancock” made $107 million. That took 5 DAYS to do. “Iron Man” made $102 million in 3 days…

 

Watch for Part III, where we’ll look back at July and Part IV where we gage summer’s final results. Until then, here are your Top Ten Lists:

 

Top Ten 3-Day Weekend Openings for Summer 2008

 

1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull              $126,917,373

2. Iron Man                                                                             $102,118,668

3. Wall*E                                                                                $63,087,526

4. Hancock                                                                              $62,603,879

5. Kung Fu Panda                                                                    $60,239,130

6. Sex and the City                                                                   $56,848,056

7. The Incredible Hulk                                                              $55,414,050

8. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian                              $55,034,805

9. Wanted                                                                                $50,927,085

10. Get Smart                                                                           $38,683,480

 

 

Top Ten Cumulative Box Office Totals for Summer 2008

 

1. Iron Man                                                                             $311,758,000

2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull              $306,428,521

3. Kung Fu Panda                                                                    $193,221,867

4. Sex and the City                                                                   $144,891,325

5. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian                              $138,780,000

6. Wall*E                                                                                 $127,196,028

7. The Incredible Hulk                                                              $124,841,395

8. Hancock                                                                              $103,877,446

9. Get Smart                                                                             $98,100,652

10. You Don’t Mess with the Zohan                                         $94,773,156

 

 

 

Will “The Dark Knight” strike a blow to “Iron Man?” Will “Hellboy 2” raise any hell? Is there any truth out there for “The X-Files?” And hey, how about “Tropic Thunder?”

 

Stay tuned for Predicting the Box Office III !

 

To be continued…

July 2008 Movie Releases

 

 

“Hancock” – Will Smith is the title superhero, an alcoholic washout whose career needs back on track. Also stars Justin Bateman and Charlize Theron. Opens July 2, 2008

 

“Kit Kittredge: An American Girl” – Abigail Breslin (“Little Miss Sunshine”) plays the title character (based on the American Girl stories) about a girl who wants to be a reporter during the Depression. When a murder is committed, she takes the job of investigating. Maybe she can get some help from Nancy Drew… Also stars Joan Cusack. Opens July 2, 2008

 

“The Wackness” – Ben Kingsley, Josh Peck, Mary Kate Olsen, Famke Janssen and Method Man in a coming-of-age story, circa 1994. Your guess is as good as mine, but I heard Kingsley gets it on with Janssen and Mary Kate. Opens July 3, 2008.

 

“Diminished Capacity” – Matthew Broderick takes a vacation to see his uncle (Alan Alda) has the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s but most importantly, a genuine mint baseball card. Along with Virginia Madsen they go up to Chicago to try and sell it. Opens July 4, 2008

 

“The Stone Angel” – Ellen Burstyn, Ellen Page, and Christine Horne in a movie based on a book by Margaret Laurence. Romantic stuff. Opens July 7, 2008

 

“Hellboy 2: The Golden Army” – Ron Perlman is back as the Red Avenger called Hellboy. This time around he’s fighting a ruthless leader who is pitting Earth against the invisible realm of creatures. Sounds like fun. Opens July 11, 2008

 

“Journey to the Center of the Earth” – Brendan Fraser heads up this latest incarnation of the Jules Verne tale. In digital 3-D! Opens July 11, 2008

 

“Mamma Mia!” – Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, and Colin Firth in a movie adaptation of the Broadway musical about a girl getting married who invites three men, one of whom is supposed to be her father. Next! Opens July 11, 2008

 

“Meet Dave” – Formerly “Starship Dave,” Eddie Murphy is a giant spaceship inhabited by miniature aliens, the commander of which is Eddie Murphy. Uh, yeah. Opening June 11, 2008

 

“Quid Pro Quo” – Nick Stahl is a guy who is paralyzed and is investigating a world where people get their kicks from becoming disabled. He’s led into this world by none other than Vera Farmiga. It could be worse… Opens June 13, 2008.

 

“The Dark Knight” – Heath Ledger as the Joker. Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent. Cillian Murphy returns as the Scarecrow. Maggie Gyllenhaal replaces Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes. Everyone else is back as well. Opens July 18, 2008

 

“Space Chimps” – Adam Samberg and Patrick Warburton are two of the voice-over cast for this CG tale of chimps “having the right stuff.” Opens July 18, 2008

 

“Step Brothers” – Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly become step brothers. Let the comedy ensue. Opens July 25, 2008

 

“The X-Files: I Want to Believe” – It’s been a few years, but Mulder and Scully are back on a case. Also stars Xzibit, Amanda Peet, and Billy Connelly. The Truth Is Out There… Opens July 25, 2008