Posts Tagged ‘hoax


Movie Review: Battle Zone: The Movie

BattleZoen poster

They’re cashing in on my childhood. Again.


Starring Nicolas Cage, Elizabeth Banks, William Sadler, and Wilford Brimley. Directed by Dominic Sena.


Where do I start?


The story goes like this: retired Colonel Jonathan Radner (Cage) is having nightmares. He remembers something, but what for certain he doesn’t know. After an incident at Fort Bragg he’s sent to a base in the MidWest; the kind of place that makes Omaha look like NYC. There he lives and gives tours on military history at their museum.


Enter Amanda Thorn (Banks). She’s a teacher and a military wife. Her husband (Sam Rockwell) is on a conference in D.C. Having been a “military brat” she knows the drill. Her father (Brimley) lives on the base as well.


When “aliens” land in D.C., Chicago, L.A., NYC, Houston, and Seattle, we know something is up. Within moments of a proposed “treaty” (how long has the government denied their existence?) we realize all too late that they are no relatives to “E.T.” or “Mac” (“Mac and Me” anyone?) And apparently they’ve picked up a thing or two since “Independence Day,” and have immunized themselves from computer viruses by shutting down all PCs and Macs. In fact they kill the power across the entire globe. Who can save us now?


Colonel Radner and his lean, mean Sherman machine. Breaking into the Museum he takes their prized possession and grabbing all the ammo he can (why would you keep ammunition for a museum piece?) he rolls the tank out. After successfully obliterating a UFO he’s now our last, best hope.


This seems to upset the aliens who until now were simply happy to eradicate us like ants under a magnifying glass. They change their strategy and begin “turning” us against ourselves using William Sadler to commandeer a force of tanks to take out Cage.


Wow. I dunno what else to say. If you’re a fan of Nic Cage, this is your best bet. No globe-trotting search for artifacts here; just shit blowin’ up. Sure, there’s the mutual protection/ love interest between Banks and Cage. And yes, it’s great to see Wilford Brimley talking about his old “war days” and how much he really knew about Roswell (“Why do you think I was sent to this base?”) instead of hocking Quaker Oats, Metamucil, or life insurance. It kinda reminded me of him in “The Thing.”


And Dominic Sena is on the radar again, teaming up with Bruckheimer for this ditty. I had wondered what became of him (checking the IMDB now). I did like how he brought back (in certain POV scenes) the old Atari game. When Cage goes to look through his viewfinder, I swore that I was in a hyper-reality version of it (with the exception of 8-bit mountains or yellow “bullets” destroying the UFOs)


All-in-all, your standard “plug ‘n play” fare; check your brain at the door. Watch for the cameos of Kevin Smith and Alec Baldwin. Those are worth it.


My grade: C+