A Tale of Two Hulks

 

 

2003: “Hulk”

2008: “The Incredible Hulk”

 

2003: Directed by Ang Lee

2008: Directed by Louis Leterrier

 

2003: Dr. Banner played by Eric Bana

2008: Dr. Banner played by Ed Norton

 

2003: Betsy Ross played by Jennifer Connelly

2008: Betsy Ross played by Liv Tyler

 

2003: General Ross played by Sam Elliott

2008: General Ross played by William Hurt

 

2003: Banner’s father made him “special” by altering his DNA.

2008: Banner is your standard nerdy scientist

 

2003: A lab accident happens and Banner survives, his altered DNA mixing with nanomeds.

2008: A lab accident happens and Banner miraculously survives Gamma radiation poisoning.

 

2003: Banner goes on the run because when he gets angry, he becomes the “Hulk,” and he likes it.

2008: Banner goes on the run because when he gets angry he becomes the “Hulk,” and he hates it.

 

2003: Banner returns home to get information, which isn’t much seeing as it was devastated by a bomb explosion.

2008: Banner returns home to Culver City Campus to get information, which isn’t much seeing as how General Ross removed it from the computer system.

 

2003: Banner becomes Hulk and saves Betsy’s life because his dad unleashed three mutant dogs on her.

2008: Banner becomes Hulk and saves Betsy’s life because she went to protect him and puts herself in the middle of Hulk being strafed by ammunition while her father watches.

 

2003: General Ross is slightly sympathetic, but believes Banner will follow in his father’s footsteps.

2008: General Ross lied to Banner about the work he was doing and sees him as military property to dissect.

 

2003: The experiment in the lab was about creating soldiers who could regenerate.

2008: The experiment in the lab was about creating “super soldiers.”

 

2003: Hulk DNA goes to Banner’s father, who wants to “understand” the transformation.

2008: Hulk DNA goes to Emil Blonsky so he can become a super soldier and bring Hulk down.

 

2003: Hulk DNA does not mix well and Banner’s dad becomes a giant electrical monster.

2008: Hulk DNA does not mix well and Blonsky becomes Abomination.

 

2003: Banner/Hulk must sacrifice himself and fight dad/giant electrical monster.

2008: Banner/Hulk must sacrifice himself and fight Abomination.

 

2003: The fight ends with the military dropping a giant Gamma bomb. Hulk and electrical monster are nowhere to be found.

2008: The fight ends with Hulk strangling Abomination with a chain. Hulk wins, and runs away.

 

2003: Banner/Hulk is hiding out in an Amazonian rainforest.

2008: Banner/Hulk is hiding out in the Canadian woods.

 

2003: Banner/Hulk was in San Francisco.

2008: Banner/Hulk was in New York City.

 

2003: Hulk no speak.

2008: Hulk speak: “Hulk smash!”

 

2003: Stan Lee had a cameo as a security guard.

2008: Stan Lee had a cameo as a senior citizen who drank juice with Hulk blood in it.

 

2003: Lou Ferrigno had a cameo as a security guard.

2008: Lou Ferrigno had a cameo as a security guard, and he does the voice for Hulk.

Movie Review: The Incredible Hulk

 

 

Hulk SMASH!

 

Starring Ed Norton, Liv Tyler, William Hurt, and Tim Roth. Directed by Louis Leterrier.

 

For the purposes of this movie review, I’m only dealing with the current “Hulk” movie, not the 80’s TV show, the cartoon, or any of the comics, and only limited dealing with the 2003 Ang Lee movie.

 

Like “Iron Man,” this movie wastes no time. The opening credit sequence shows that Bruce Banner (Norton) was a scientist exposing himself to gamma radiation, being watched over by assistant Elizabeth Ross (Tyler). Something goes wrong and Banner becomes… something else. The lab is destroyed and “Betsy” winds up in the hospital. Her dad General Ross (Hurt) bans Banner and he leaves. From that point Banner is on the run (watch for S.H.E.I.L.D. references as well as the  names Tony Stark and Nick Fury).

 

And that’s just the opening.

 

Banner is now living in Brazil keeping under the radar by working at a bottling plant, practicing yoga and breathing exercises, learning the language by watching “Sesame Street,” and keeping in contact with “Mr. Blue” as to how he can get rid of the “Hulk-ness.”

 

When his blood accidentally makes it into a bottle of fruit juice it affects a mild-mannered citizen (Stan Lee) and Hurt gets the best of the best to help tear down the slums of Brazil/ find Bruce Banner. Inducted into the group is Russian-born English-bred and on-loan to the States Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth). After destroying the bottling plant Blonsky stares into the face of Hulk and like Ahab to Ishmael he makes a new life goal of bringing Banner/Hulk down. When Blonsky confronts Ross about what’s going on, Ross confides that he was trying to re-initiate a “super-soldier” program using Banner and that’s how Hulk came about. Blonsky, apparently as crazed as Ross, signs up for some “super juice.”

 

Not to be outdone in the Crazy Department, Banner wakes up in the jungle and decides that having nothing to lose, he should go back to Culver University (where it all started) and get the data he needs to send to “Mr. Blue.” This means also running into Elizabeth and the distinct possibility that he will not make it to New York to meet up with the scientist, but it does assure the destruction of military stuff.

 

I’ll stop there. While this film is largely plotless, it’s enjoyable on about the same level of “Iron Man.” Is it better than the previous movie outing? Yes, by 100 times. Is this a film? No. This is a comic book that you are watching (sorta like how “Iron Man” was). Yes, there’s destruction. The villain in this movie makes sense as opposed to “super demigod” Nick Nolte. And yes, I was actually behind the Hulk to win.

 

The only problem that comes with doing a Hulk movie is the problem with dealing with Superman: these characters are limited. Bruce Banner is boring compared to the primal rage of Hulk like Clark Kent is boring compared to how super Superman is.

 

Aside from that, I got no complaints. Why should you see this? Well, it’s probably the best Hulk film yet. It’s a little more than popcorn fun, the CG is well done, Norton does a great job, etc. Watch for the cameos of Stan Lee as (again) a mild-mannered senior citizen who drinks “Hulk” blood and Lou Ferrigno as a security guard (and he moonlights as Hulk’s voice). Tim Blake Nelson is Stearns/ Mr. Blue, a scientist intrigued with the Hulk.

 

Extra credit if you can comment on the review with the Bill Bixby reference.

 

My grade: B+

June 2008 Movie Releases

 

 

 

“Kung Fu Panda” – Animated adventure about a panda who is the “Chosen One” and must defeat a Tiger of ancient evil. Voices by Jack Black and Angelina Jolie. Opens June 6, 2008

 

“Miss Conception” – Heather Graham plays “beat the biological clock” as she goes through myriads of men, just to get a donor. Was there a line for this? Opens June 6, 2008

 

“The Promotion” – Seann William Scott and John C. Reilly are supermarket managers vying for a managerial position at a new location. Will this inspire other like-wise films? Maybe competition among Wal-Mart employees? Whatever. Opens June 6, 2008.

 

“You Don’t Mess With the Zohan” – Adam Sandler is Israeli counter-terrorist who move to America to be hair stylist. I not make this up. Opens June 6, 2008

 

“The Happening” – M. Night Shamma-Lamma-Ding-Dong’s next movie. A sci-fi “plants are taking over” story with Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, and John Leguizamo. Opens June 13, 2008

 

“The Incredible Hulk” – Dr. David Bruce Banner / Hulk is back, this time played by Ed Norton. Complications arise when he’s taken on by Abomination, a creature that matches his size and strength. Reportedly, their fight scene is 26 minutes long. Opening June 13, 2008

 

“Quid Pro Quo” – Nick Stahl is a guy who is paralyzed and is investigating a world where people get their kicks from becoming disabled. He’s led into this world by none other than Vera Farmiga. It could be worse… Opens June 13, 2008

 

“Get Smart” – Steve Carell is Agent Maxwell Smart. Anna Hathaway is Agent 99. Alan Arkin is the Chief. The Rock is in on it as well. Opens June 20, 2008

 

“Kit Kittredge: An American Girl” – Abigail Breslin (“Little Miss Sunshine”) plays the title character (based on the American Girl stories) about a girl who wants to be a reporter during the Depression. When a murder is committed, she takes the job of investigating. Maybe she can get some help from Nancy Drew… Also stars Joan Cusack. Opening June 20, 2008

 

“The Love Guru” – Mike Myers, Justin Timberlake, and Jessica Alba in a story of a man brought up in India who comes to the U.S. trying to break into the self-help business. Opens June 20, 2008

 

“Finding Amanda” – Matthew Broderick is a compulsive gambler sent to Las Vegas to find his 20-year-old niece Amanda (Britney Snow), who is now a hooker, and take her to rehab. No, no, no. Opening June 27, 2008

 

“Wall*E” – A lonely robot left on a planet finally gets a friend after 700 years, only for her to be taken away. Pixar’s latest venture. The trailer is great! Opening June 27, 2008

 

“Wanted” – James MacAvoy becomes the latest drama-turned-action star in a story about a young man who finds out that his dad was an assassin and now, HE’S part of the fraternity. It also includes Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie. Opening June 27, 2008

Marvel at the Box Office

 

 

 

Can I get some points for double-entendre?

 

With the release of “Iron Man,” (the first film solely financed by Marvel) having grossed over $100 million in the first weekend, the question comes: what’s next? It seems that Marvel is planning on tying all of their movies together, with the coupe de grace being an “Avengers” movie. With this summer’s “Iron Man” containing Nick Fury (agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.) and “Hulk” containing a scene with Tony Stark, Marvel is weaving their characters/franchises much like the comic books.

 

So what else should we be expecting? Here’s the rundown of what’s on Marvel’s plate. Please acknowledge beforehand that no release date is final, and that not all of the productions may follow through:

 

–         Punisher: War Zone. Ray Stevenson is the titular hero going up against Jigsaw (Dominic West). Directed by Lexi Alexander (“Hooligans”). Release date is December 5, 2008.

–         X-Men Origins: Magneto. Self-explanatory. Directed by David S. Goyer (“The Invisible,” “Blade Trinity”). Set for release in 2009.

–         Spider-Man 4. No details. Set for release in 2009.

–         Silver Surfer. Directed by Alex Proyas (“The Crow,” “Dark City”). Set for release in 2009.

–         X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Directed by Gavin Hood (“Rendition,” “Tsotsi”). Hugh Jackman is helping to produce. Characters to include: Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds), Sabretooth (Live Schreiber), Beak (Dominic Monaghan), and Gambit (Taylor Kitsch). Release date is May 1, 2009.

–         Luke Cage. Tyrese Gibson in the title role. Directed by John Singleton (“Four Brothers,” “2 Fast 2 Furious”). Set for release in 2009.

–         Nick Fury. Samuel L. Jackson will play the titular character, which incidentally became based on him. Set for release in 2010.

–         Iron Man 2. Downey said he would be back and Paltrow has signed on for 2 sequels. Aside from that, I pretty much expect just about everyone to return. No official word on what it’s about, but the release date is set for April 30, 2010.

–         Thor. Based on the Norse god. It’s being directed by Matthew Vaughn (“Stardust,” “Layer Cake”). Release date is June 4, 2010.

–         Captain America. Although dead in the comics, Nick Cassavetes (“The Notebook,” “Alpha Dog”) is bringing him to life to exact some American justice. Set to be released on May 6, 2011.

–         The Avengers. Nick Fury, Ant-Man, Hulk, Thor, Iron Man… will they all appear? Scheduled for release sometime in July 2011.

–         Ant-Man. Dr. Hank Pym is a scientist who develops an instrument that can communicate and control insects. Edgar Wright (“Shaun of the Dead,” “Hot Fuzz”) is set to direct. No given release date.

–         Iron Fist. Ray Parks is the Martial Arts superhero. Directed by Steve Carr (“Next Friday,” “Daddy Day Care”). No release date given.

–         The Hands of Shang-Chi. A young Kung-Fu master finds out that his dad is World Enemy #1. Directed by Woo-Ping Yuen.

 

What do you think? Which ones will you go see? Comment back!

 

Don’t forget to check out “Hulk” in theatres on June 13, 2008!