#35. Hero (2002)

Starring Jet Li, Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, Maggie Cheung

Directed by Zhang Yimou

The Short, Short Version:

Set in the time before the Great Wall of China, Jet Li is the Nameless Man who’s not too different than Clint Eastwood’s “Man With No Name.” China is divided into seven warring factions and Nameless approaches the Emperor Qin claiming his victories over master fighters Broken Sword, Sky, and Flying Snow. Upon speaking with Qin he relays the stories of how he beat all three. What we’re then treated to is three stories about how it all went down. The real reason behind the assassinations and Qin’s fate unravel as the tales unfold.

Why This Made the 40:

I had never watched it before this week. I remember someone saying that I would like it, giving it to me, and I can’t remember who. Did I like it? Sure. I think I didn’t watch it when it came out due to thee fact that I’m just not a big person on fantasy stories; kinda pick-and-choose. I did go to a theatre and watch, “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,” and wasn’t really all that impressed. It looked nice but too much “wire-fu” and the story wasn’t all that great. Again, my opinion.

This time around being removed from the early aughts wire-fu movement I can say that I enjoyed the film. It pays homage to a few other films you may know. I mentioned earlier that Li’s character reminded me of the old Sergio Leone Clint Eastwood character. Aside from that there are a few references back to Kurasowa’s, “Rashomon,” in story structure and the fight with Broken Sword. At one point in the film (minor spoiler) a calligraphy teacher’s in a building being hit by multitudes of arrows. He commands his students to stay in their places as he is. Sitting cross-legged on the floor arrows fly around him much like the retired Emperor in, “Ran.” I’m sure there are several more references in this film.

Again, I’m not a huge fan of Asian cinema but every now and then there’s one I like. For it’s breathtaking scenery and mis en scene, “Hero,” is an incredibly beautiful movie. I actually went looking for it on Blu-ray as I only have the DVD version which is constantly grainy/pixelated. The one advantage to having the DVD version is that the original Mandarin Chinese 5.1 DTS sound mix is incredible while the video is, unfortunately, lackluster. Meanwhile the word is that the Blu-ray looks incredible while unfortunately the DTS 5.1 mix is the English dubbed version. Apparently, it’s one or the other…

#37. Rio Bravo (1959)

Starring John Wayne, Dean Martin, Ricky Nelson, Ward Bond, and Angie Dickinson

Directed by Howard Hawks

The Short, Short Version:

John Wayne is John T. Chance, sheriff of an old West town who, with the help of his deputy and drunken friend “Dude” (Dean Martin) locks in jail local bad guy Pat Wheeler (Bond). Unfortunately Wheeler is part of the Burdette gang which all but runs the town. While they plot Pat’s escape it’s up to Chance and the Dude along with an older, crippled deputy named Stumpy (Walter Brennan) and a young gunslinger named Colorado Ryan (Ricky Nelson) to “hold the fort” at the jail until Federal Marshals can arrive.

Why This Made the 40:

In what feels like an eon ago I had a film class called Film as Literary Art which was taught by a British guy named Tony Hawk. I can still remember how distinct his voice was. That aside, our syllabus covered the films of Howard Hawks and this made the class (as well as Wayne’s, “Hitari!”). While I only became a moderate fan of Hawks’ work I did come away with movies I greatly appreciated such as “Rio Bravo.”

I think one of the reasons I like, “Rio Bravo,” so much is that I’m a sucker for tales of redemption. I was talking with a friend of mine recently whom I let borrow films and I didn’t realize that was an underlying theme – redemption. The characters have to all redeem themselves in some way – Dude goes from being an alcoholic to sober to clean himself out and up. Colorado Ryan and Stumpy want to prove their worth. John Chance gets another chance at love. Redemption.

Also, Hawks treated “Rio Bravo” not as a Western movie but a hybrid between the morally-conscious prior films such as “High Noon,” and TV Westerns such as “Maverick,” “Lawman,” etc. It’s entertainment with action, adventure, romance, suspense, and comedy – one of those rare blended-films of the genre which makes this movie actually fun to watch. It’s a half-popcorn, half-morality tale cinematic adventure.

And it’s got Dino (Martin). What’s not great about this movie?

#38. Carlito’s Way

Starring Al Pacino, Sean Penn, Penelope Ann Miller, and John Leguizamo.

Directed by Brian De Palma

Short, Short Version:

It’s notably the Eighties and former “J.P. Morgan of the smack business” gangster Carlito Brigante (Pacino) has his 30-year sentence overturned via his lawyer Kleinfeld (Penn) proving that the police conducted illegal investigations on him. “Free at last!” Brigante espouses his renewed faith in the world and swears he’ll never go back to what he did before. Problem is that the rest of his social circle doesn’t feel that’s the right move to make. The story of one man’s quest for redemption comes to the conclusion that sometimes you’re just as far in as you’ll ever be out.

Why this made the 40:

Aside from being in my favorites category the film is literally in my Top Ten Favorite Films of All Time. Sure, Pacino may be a stretch for being Cuban however the film is done so well you forget about that idea. Brigante enters as a flawd character trying to do the straight and narrow – invest on a friend’s car sales business in the Florida Keys. As he tries redeeming himself to society and keeping out of jail he finds himself dragged back into the thick of it: his best friend/lawyer Kleinfeld (who has now turned into a gangster himself) not only enlists him to help dispose of some guys yet also offers him to the D.A. on trumped-up drug charges. His second-in-command at the club he winds up owning sells him out to another up-and-coming gangster, Benny Blanco (Leguizamo). The girlfriend he broke up with 6 years ago is dancing at a high-end strip club (surprise!) and they get back together. For everything he’s trying to do right by not doing anything at all everything goes wrong. Call it fatalism.

I’ve enjoyed De Palma’s work: “Carrie,” “Dressed to Kill,” “Blow Out,” “Scarface,” “The Untouchables,” “Mission: Impossible,” “Femme Fatale,” etc. While being more of a “modern Hitchcock,” De Palma crafts interesting moments of drama and action while sneaking in the style (except for “Dressed to Kill,” which is pretty much a Hitchcock film in its own right). In the case of “Carlito’s Way,” as Penn’s Kleinfeld becomes more and more coke-addled/insane, the camera takes on more and more “Dutch angles.” De Palma also goes the extra mile and does 360-degree movement around the characters while doing Dutch angles (I don’t know of any other instance of this) thus heightening paranoia. Also of note: the scene where Kleinman is going to Riker’s Island Barge and the camera pulls back as he’s walking alone is a very Hitchcockian shot.

From it’s one-liners (“Favor’s gonna kill you faster than a bullet,” “You think you’re big time? You’re gonna fuckin’ die, big time!”) to the shots to the script (David Koepp) to its actors, “Carlito’s Way” is a helluva movie all-around and not just my favorite De Palma but one of my faves overall.

#39 Cleopatra

#39. Cleopatra (1934)

Starring Claudette Colbert, Warren William, Henry Wilcoxon, and Ian Keith.

Directed by Cecil B. DeMille

The Short, Short Version:

This historical romance has Queen Cleopatra (Colbert) kidnapped and left in the middle of the desert along with her assistant. While Caesar (William) sits plots out his capture of Egypt Cleopatra manages to outwit her captor and cozy up to Caesar. This relationship proves fatal as 1) Caesar is already married to Culpernia and 2) No one in Rome likes Cleopatra. Failing to heed the Ides of March Caesar is assassinated and Cleopatra takes the only vehicle she has back to Egypt. Marc Antony (Wilcoxon), pissed off at Cleopatra as well, takes his legions into Egypt dead set on killing Cleopatra. Cleopatra placates to Antony and he, in turn, falls in love with her. Octavius (Keith) uses this relationship to turn Rome against Antony.

Why This Made the 40:

The second of the categories this came from the “Haven’t Watched” one. Believe it or not I have a few movies I found interesting by the packaging or historical context and as such, collected them; this was one.

This movie is about as compact as a black and white epic can get. 100 minutes may sound short however DeMille wastes no time in movie. Each scene “ramps up” to the next scene and gets bigger and better as it goes along. Claudia Colbert seethes sex and allure as Cleopatra and she knows how to play her cards and really, this movie is a showcase for her. William and Wilcoxon do fine jobs with their characters as much as they were written but again, this movie wasn’t about Caesar or Marc Antony so much as Cleopatra. As a female protagonist movie it navigates the sensibilities of the time fairly well.

Secondly, it’s a DeMille movie. From 1914 to 1956 he directed 80 films, most notably, “The Ten Commandments.” His sense for epic grandeur is in no short supply here – from the rooms of Egypt to Cleopatra’s trireme it’s about space and glory and opulence. The musical number on Cleopatra’s ship is the greatest example of it with the camera slowly pulling-back to show Marc Antony at the head of the ship as if on a stage while on the floor below are dancers and hoops on fire and even further back synchronous rowing and at the back one guy pounding on a giant drum. All in one shot. THAT is directing.

Like “Key Largo,” the coup-de-grace scene is expertly edited; tight and never short of action. Once Egypt and Antony take on Rome there’s a sequence that shows triremes ramming into each other, soldiers falling into the water (complete with underwater shots), Roman legions versus Egyptian legions, sword-fighting – everything one could ask for in a spectacular fight scene. You can also notice small bits of actors in front of a backlit projected image but those are interspersed with the other action shots so as not to interfere with the “suspension of disbelief,” which in my opinion was an incredibly smart move.

Did I enjoy it? Yeah. Equal mix history, romance, and action movie on an epic scale in 100 minutes is a feat for its time and altogether a decent movie. Sure, there are a few hokey instances such as Caesar playing with a device that’s supposed to thrust spears into the enemy (made from a cash register) and a giant door with a metal locking mechanism, but really these are just “of the time” issues; they happen every generation. Give it a spin if you get a chance.

Will You Logoff for ‘Social Network’?

If only logging on to Facebook was this compelling…

Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Rooney Mara, Armie Hammer, Max Minghella, Rashida Jones and Justin Timberlake. Directed by David Fincher. Based on the book “The Accidental Billionaires” by Ben Mezrich

If this review is read in the far future… you know, the one with the flying cars, jetpacks, and teleportation devices just like “Star Trek,” I wonder how we’ll look back at applications such as Twitter and the current ultimate networking platform, Facebook. Will we look upon these days and reminisce about wasting time on Mafia Wars or Farmville just as others wax laconic about Tetris and Mine Sweeper? Will Facebook concede its crown just as MySpace did? How archaic will “tagging” photos or creating groups like We Graduated High School So Why Are You Still Living In It? seem passe? To lean on the cliché only time will tell and who knows? Maybe I’ll get a chuckle out of reading this review.

At first the choice to helm a movie about culture current technological fad may seem odd. David Fincher. The guy who directed “Seven,” “The Game,” “Fight Club,” “Panic Room,” “Zodiac,” and “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.” If you look at his resume he’s the perfect candidate for the job: the man knows his technology. He’s Robert Zemeckis with a socio-political message wrapped in the veneer of a mystery. The conspiracy inside “The Game” showed that anyone and anything could be reached and turned against someone. “Fight Club” used technology not only for effects but to emphasize its effects on masculinity. Jodie Foster found herself trapped inside a high-security box fighting for her survival in “Panic Room.” In “Zodiac” Fincher used technology to recreate the San Fran area in the Seventies as well as aging Brad Pitt backwards in “Benjamin Button.” And now the spotlight is shown on our electronic fascination with “Social Network.”

Mark Zuckerberg (Eisenberg) is a computer student at Harvard. With a certain nebbish nature he talks a mile-a-minute on a timeline the solely exists inside his head which makes him difficult to deal with or relate to. Any moment he shares with someone appears spent before he even starts it. One night his girlfriend Erica Albright (Mara) breaks up with him because she can’t stand him anymore. Pissed-off and drunk he returns to his dorm room and blogs about his ex-girlfriend, complaining about the size of her breasts and comparing her with farm animals. With the help of his best friend/roommate Eduardo Saverin (Mazzello) he creates a program which takes all the pictures of the women on Harvard and makes a “Hot or Not” website where people can vote as pictures of women are pitted against others. Within four hours the website gets over 22,000 hits and shuts down the Harvard server.

The Harvard review board brings Zuckerberg up on Code of Conduct charges to which he seemingly doesn’t care. The guy is technologically smarter than every person in the room and has no qualms about letting them know. He’s put on academic probation and left to his own devices. Upon hearing of this in the student newspaper Zuckerberg is confronted by Divya Narendra (Minghella) and the Winklevoss Twins Cameron and Tyler (Armie Hammer, technically playing both roles) who found out about his website and want him to help create a student dating website for them. What’s in it for him? Re-establishing his Harvard “image.” From this Zuckerberg begins stirring an idea around in his head…

“Relationship status.” That’s the key ingredient Zuckerberg and Eduardo need to create their website, thefacebook. Within moments Zuckerberg finishes the programming and sits back. And waits.

Like a “viral web hit” people begin logging on and joining up. The duo don’t know what they have on their hands. Mark wants to keep it free and expand the technology while Eduardo wants to monetize it so it can begin paying for itself. Steadily the amount of members increase as they broaden who can join (because you need an “.edu” address to be a member) to other colleges. It even goes overseas. Meanwhile the guys with the prestigious rowing club try pursuing litigation saying that Zuckerberg stole their idea.

Enter Sean Parker (Timberlake). He created Napster and sat in the middle of multiple lawsuits while living the party lifestyle. Sean has ideas and against Eduardo’s better judgment has sway on Mark. He convinces Mark to move out to California so they can take “thefacebook” global because Sean has contacts. He’s setting up meetings. He’s getting Zuckerberg networked. Meanwhile, Eduardo is back in New York running around, seemingly hopelessly, trying to get funding for the website.

And therein lies what the movie is about: more than Facebook, more than money, it’s about the destruction of a friendship. It’s about two men who shared a vision in the beginning only for each to find out who the other was too late. Eduardo is sold on the idea and wants to keep a certain amount of control on it while Mark wants to play “Civilization” with social networking. Piece by piece Eduardo is sold out by Mark and Sean finally ending up suing Mark.

And Mark has no initial worries about the place he’s found himself in: the middle of two lawsuits. One is against the person who used to be his best friend while the other is against the brothers who hired him to do their website. Mark can be labeled “cold and indifferent” without pause or difficulty. That’s as deep as he goes…

Fincher weaves the tale back and forth between Mark’s and Eduardo’s testimonies as well as those of the Winklevoss. It’s an intriguing tale. It’s compelling. Think “Aviator” for computer nerds. While you may not get a full view on who Zuckerberg really is the actions speak for themselves. One of the best lines to illustrate this arrives at the very end when Rishad Jones says, “You’re not an asshole, but you’re trying so hard to be.” Apropos.

The question that comes to mind: is this the TRUE story of the founding of Facebook? I haven’t read the book and therefore cannot say. It’s a movie so I’m sure a good chunk is embellished but I also believe that several events did occur; I just can’t say which ones. But more importantly: what does Zuckerberg think of all this?

I did enjoy the movie overall. If it were any director other than Fincher I may have decided against seeing it but Fincher is one of the better storytellers of my generation. The guy can make the bland provocative. Aside from the technological aspect Fincher called up industrial rock artist Trent Reznor and had him do the soundtrack (Fincher had done several Nine Inch Nails videos) and the result works. While Eisenberg, Timberlake, and Garfield give good performances of their characters since I have not really seen their real-life versions I can’t speak to how accurate they were.

My grade: B+

Affleck Takes Moviegoers to ‘Town’

Hardboiled Affleck?

Starring Ben Affleck, Rebecca Hall, Jon Hamm, Jeremy Renner, Blake Lively, Pete Postlethwaite, and Chris Cooper. Written and directed by Ben Affleck. Based on the novel “Prince of Thieves” by Chuck Hogan

Gritty. Low-tech. Real. Honest. Violent. Southie crime drama. And it works.

Ben Affleck returns to the director’s chair with his second feature, “The Town.” If you haven’t seen his first, “Gone Baby Gone,” I recommend renting it. “The Town” is another crime drama set in South Boston and while it proudly follows in the footsteps of “The Departed” and “Boondock Saints,” it has its own distinction with a “whiff” of “Carlito’s Way” running through it. It all kicks off with two quotes about Charlestown: first, that it’s the capital of blue-collar crime and secondly that those who grow up there are proud of being from there, no matter how f’d up their lives become.

Doug MacRay (Affleck) is a former high school hockey star who returned to his hometown of Charlestown and decided to kick it by working in construction. And organizing armored car and bank heists. His crew includes his volatile best friend Jim Coughlin (Renner), who is like a brother to him, Desmond Eldon (Owen Burke) and getaway driver Albert Magloan (Slaine). The opening heist has them holding up a bank and taking hostage bank manager Claire Keesey (Hall). Immediately after they drop her off by the water and ditch the van, abandoning and setting it on fire in Charlestown.

Enter FBI investigators Special Agents Adam Frawley (Hamm) and Dino Ciampa (Titus Welliver). Frawley looks over any evidence left, which isn’t much and deduces that the people he’s dealing with are “not f’n around.” His only lead is with Keesey who can only repeat what little she doesn’t know. No prints, knowing when bank events were timed… he’s out for blood but with no direction to go. On a hunch he’s able to track down the crew having a cookout.

But the movie isn’t so much about what’s going on with everyone else as it is MacRay. Doug is haunted by the fact that his mother left him and his dad (Chris Cooper) when he was six. He tried breaking away from the small town but failing at hockey he returned and got sucked back in. His dad worked for Fergie the Florist (Postlethwaite) and is now doing hard time. His friend Jim’s family took him in and he even dated Jim’s sister Krista (Lively) who is a product of the area: in her twenties with a kid, drunk and strung-out on drugs. He wants to get out. He needs to get out. Just one last job…

Doug takes it upon himself to track and watch Claire to see what she knows and what she says. He finds that she’s a “yuppie” who lives in Charlestown and does volunteer work with kids. She has a good, decent. Doug finds himself falling in love with her, wanting to take her with him when he leaves Charlestown. He makes his mind up to get out but again, one last job.

The stakes are raised after a second armored car heist brings more attention to the crew who are already dressed as facially-decrepit nuns sporting assault rifles. Jim comes down on Doug for dating Claire citing that it could destroy everything they’ve built up. “Fergie” tells Doug that he can’t leave working for him because he won’t let him. Special Agent Frawley questions Claire a little more and informs her that her boyfriend Doug is a bank robber. Doug is being pulled down by the very forces he’s working to escape from. Will he make it out alive? Will Claire come with him?

From the opening action sequence of a perfectly planned bank heist to its somber end, “The Town” is a class-act thriller/noir/heist movie that makes no apologies for a “feeling” of being independent so much as it showcases good filmmaking. Following critical acclaim for directing “Gone Baby Gone” Affleck may be one of the better actor-turned-directors that exist in Hollywood. Watching the movie it feels real: car crashes don’t lead to explosions, weapons-fire doesn’t come with witty lines, and the characters and locale aren’t misunderstood –they are exactly what they are with little regret.

And maybe it’s that angle that works for this film. “Carlito’s Way,” which I mentioned earlier, seemed to inspire the vibe flowing through this film: the guy who just wants out and away from it all, who is trying to do good, to do the right thing around others who don’t want him to change for their purposes. It’s a cruel life-lesson that Doug MacRay learns but not entirely in the same way as Carlito Brigante.

Do I suggest this movie? Hell yes. Action scenes are done well and while they rush they do not feel like a “Bourne” scene. There’s enough tension to keep you on the edge of your seat every-other scene. The music works with the film. As for acting the actors seem to be at home with the characters.
Someone asked me last night what I thought of it. I would pay full price to see this movie again. It’s that good.

My grade: A

“Kick-Ass” and Take Names

Or was that ass-kicked?

Starring Aaron Johnson, Clark Duke, Evan Peters, Lyndsy Fonseca, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Mark Strong, Chloe Moretz, and Nicolas Cage. Directed by Matthew Vaughn. Based on the comic book by Mark Millar and John Romita, Jr.

I will say it over and over again: I’m not a huge fan of the superhero genre. For every good superhero movie (“Superman,” “Batman,” “Spider-Man”) there are the less-than-stellar attempts at bringing others to the silver screen (“Daredevil,” “Hulk”) as well as attempts to resurrect a franchise (“Superman Returns,” “The Incredible Hulk”). And let’s not forget the made-up/not so renown ones (“Blankman,” “Steele”). I’m writing this on the eve of “Iron Man 2,” which I suspect will be the popcorn blockbuster that the first entirely was and that’s fine with me.

“Kick-Ass” is based on a darker graphic novel and follows Dave Lizewski, your Peter Parker-ish high school quintessential 98+ pound weakling. He’s in love with the beautiful but impossible to have Katie Deauxma (Fonseca). His two best friends Marty (Duke) and Todd (Peters) hang out with him each day at Atomic Comics. Dave’s life is the epitome of boring and mundane: he goes to school, his dad goes to work, they eat the same brand knock-off cereal, etc. In short, blah.

Out of this stagnation comes a twisted idea: what if he became a superhero, like in the comic books? His friends dismiss it saying that it would be crazy. Unless a person happened to be like Batman or whoever else why would anyone want to do it? Again, crazy idea. But not for Dave…

Hopping on the Net he orders a green with yellow trim wetsuit and some batons. He adopts the name Kick-Ass and in the beginning he’s more the reverse: his ass gets kicked. He has no fighting skills or training or cache of money to rely on. This doesn’t deter him because he has the one thing that superheroes need: a heart. After an attempt to thwart carjackers leaves him bleeding from a stab wound, as well as getting hit by a car, he emerges from the hospital with enough metal inside him to rival Wolverine. This clinches his idea of becoming a superhero.

Enter the main bad guy, lumber supplier and drug kingpin Frank D’Amico (Strong). After a deal goes bad Kick-Ass is to blame and becomes his personal center of revenge. The kingpin’s son, Chris (Mintz-Plasse), concocts a plan to get close to Kick-Ass by becoming a superhero himself.

Kick-Ass finds allies in Hit Girl (Moretz) and Big Daddy (Cage). Big Daddy had been a cop who refused to bend to D’Amico and became framed. Sent to prison for five years his then wife OD’d on drugs but lived long enough to give birth to their daughter, Mindy. Mindy and father become reunited after he’s released whereby she becomes Hit Girl and he Big Daddy. Their mission: bring down D’Amico.

I’ll leave the story description there because let’s face it: you’ve seen the plot points before. What makes this movie differ from the rest is that it knows the source material that came before it and plays to the audience. Dave narrates the film with that “I’m telling you but you should probably already figure it out” sense of sarcasm. He knows that he doesn’t have the Batman story of revenge, or the Spider-Man story of being bitten by a radioactive spider. He knows and comes to terms with the fact that superheroes grace comic books for a reason: they are in an alternate reality. By finding his own humanity he does manage to become a superhero which is just as good.

My thoughts? I enjoyed the hell out of this movie. When Nicholson in “Batman,” exclaimed, “What this town needs is an enema,” he may as well have been talking about the superhero genre. After knowing the backstories to every-other Marvel or DC character and knowing the story arcs, we’ve become so accustomed to how the story is supposed to play out that all we can do is venture whether or not this set of characters did it well.

And these do. Kick-Ass goes from being the high school dork to superhero sensation. He befriends others trying to help the cause. He fights the bad guy and wins. And, there’s the offspring of a future nemesis.

Aside from this, “Kick-Ass” is a film I would suggest to young filmmaker wannabes/gonnabes because there are so many styles put into this film. Director Matthew Vaughn’s debut movie was “Layer Cake,” but this plays closer to “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels,” and “Snatch,” both movies he produced with Guy Ritchie. For those who miss the sense of humor those movies had in Ritchie’s current work check this one out; you’ll find the person it came from. Whether the movie plays like Ang Lee’s “Hulk,” or like “A Scanner Darkly,” or even like a video game, it keeps you on your toes for what to expect. It may not be the greatest achievement in film but I can liken it to “Kill Bill Vol. 1” in terms of mashing together various styles.

Aaron Johnson does a great job at being the high school dork-come-superhero with heart and I expect that he’ll get a lot more work because of it. I’m not going to guess what his range is but he played the part perfectly. Nic Cage does an interesting turn as Big Daddy, a Batman wannabe down to his lookalike custom and Adam West-pregnant pausing sentences.

The real thing about this movie is Mindy/Hit Girl. She’s twelve, cusses worse than a sailor, and could out-John Woo any situation. A lethal killing machine that hasn’t even gotten to high school yet. I’ve heard friends say that this is controversial in other cities and maybe they’re talking about it here. But hey guys: it’s just a movie. Sit back, relax, and try to have fun watching it.

I wish I could recommend this to everybody but I know that tastes vary and that there will be a lot of people offended by this one. So I’ll recommend this one to those who love superhero movies, those who like them, and those who are all about satire.

My grade: B+

Chas Andrews is a freelance writer, blogger, movie critic, what-have-you. Check out his hardboiled crime tale, The Big Adios, at http://aidencobb.blogspot.com

Movie News and Views December 16, 2009 Poster Edition

Hey everyone! It’s the last Poster Edition of Movie News and Views for 2009! I thought about recapping the year but… it’s not my style for this column. Here’s the last tidbits of Hollywood info from me until next year,

– The “300” prequel (“299?”) has been announced and its current title is “Xerxes.” It’s the battle of Marathon through the ink of Frank Miller.

– Kevin Smith’s “A Couple of Dicks,” will be renamed “Cop Out.”

– As if there isn’t enough emphasis on special effects, 15 movies are competing for Visual Effects Academy Award. The Oscars will be broadcast live on March 7, 2010 on ABC.

– For those who have converted (or are like me, recently converted) Frodo and Company will be on Blu-Ray on April 6, 2010 (you can pre-order on March 2). All three of the “LOTR” will be in one set, released in their Theatrical Versions. For those wanting the Extended Editions, you’ll have to wait longer (dammit).

– The U.S. Congress is fighting unemployment by investing $30 million into fighting movie piracy. No word on combating ninjas…

– “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.” The eagerly-awaited mash-up of Jane Austen and the undead has attached director David O. Russell (“Three Kings”). The production has officially announced the involvement of Natalie Portman as not only a producer but the lead actress as well. This just keeps getting’ better and better…

– Nic Cage is in the new “Kick-Ass” movie. That might cause it to lose the credibility it had…

– “The Runaways” is a film about the girl group formed in the 70s that featured Cherie Currie, Joan Jett, and Lita Ford. The film is loosely based on Currie’s book, “Neon Angel: the Cherie Currie Story” and stars Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart as Currie and Jett, respectively.

– MTV is remaking “Teen Wolf” as a TV series.

– What do you get for the cinema aficionado who has every DVD? Why not a book? Specifically, “Stanley Kubrick’s Napoleon: The Greatest Movie Never Made.” At a spry 2874 pages and very Limited Edition, no movie nerd would be complete without it. For $700.00, it’s a veritable steal! Hurry now! Supplies are limited! Check out the website at:

http://www.taschen.com/pages/en/catalogue/film/all/03844/facts.stanley_kubricks_napoleon_the_greatest_movie_never_made.htm

– Good news for indie-makers: Paramount Pictures is allocating funds for movies that cost $100k and less. If you can sell a movie that would have a budget under that, you may get to see it on the silver screen. This is inspired by the performance of “Paranormal Activity” at the box office. Ah, the little $15,000 film that could…

– Following “Avatar,” James Cameron is helming a 3-D remake of “Fantastic Voyage.” Wonder what kind of love story exists on the microbial level…

– Future candidates for Remake Radar: “Romancing the Stone,” “Overboard,” “Amityville Horror,” “The Howling”

– To further Nic Cage’s money problems, his ex-wife is suing him for $13 million.

– The domestic Box Office is expected to break the $10 billion dollar mark. Those blockbusters are really adding up…

– Howard Stern was selected, at random, to be part of the Screen Actors Guild Awards nominations committee. That should be fun…

– According to Jeff Bridges, “Iron Man” had no script. I knew it!

– Feeling that he has not achieved what he set out to do as an actor, Alec Baldwin is quitting acting after his contract with “30 Rock” is up. I understand, man. I sat through “Mercury Rising.”

– Universal Studios is introducing “flipper” technology: insert a dolphin… no, wait. Much like the unfortunate HD DVD, the technology has Blu-Ray on one side of a disc and standard DVD on the other. This is for those who have yet to by Blu-Ray, or maybe they already own a player and want the ability to flip it over for s&g. The first to go to this newfangled technology will be the “Bourne” trilogy of movies.

– “Shrek Forever After” will be the fourth, and final, of the CG animated green ogre series.

– Dirk Benedict has announced he will have a cameo in the new “A-Team” movie. That leaves Mr. T as the only living “team” member. I can’t figure out how to fit “I pity the fool” in this…

– Apparently the WB is waiting out their legal disputes with the Siegel and Schuster estates before getting back into the “Superman” franchise.

– If you’re a fan of the “Happy Gilmore Swing” (which requires a running start before whacking at the ball with the club), don’t go to Canada. The Supreme Court of Nova Scotia has deemed it illegal.

Movie Review: Extract

 

Mike Judge’s comedy flavor.

Starring Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, Kristen Wiig, J.K. Simmons, David Koetchner and Ben Affleck. Directed by Mike Judge

This movie is to the small, mom-and-pop business as “Office Space” was to the office environment. It’s a small, fun, little comedy.

Jason Bateman stars as Joel Reynolds, the head of Reynolds Extract, a plant-extract company he personally created which offers flavors such as vanilla, root beer, and wintergreen. Joel is stressed-out and having problems: the business is full of dysfunctional people not the least of which is his assistant Brian (Simmons) who calls all the workers “dingus” because he refuses to learn their names. When word comes that General Mills may buy their plant and Joel and Brian may be in for some serious cash, things begin looking up.

As for the homefront he hasn’t had sex in a month and doesn’t get it unless he gets home before 8pm. Otherwise his wife Suzie (Wiig) walks around in a pair of sweatpants with the drawstring tied in a bow; a veritable “Gordon’s knot.” He spends late nights at a local bar where the bartender Dean(Affleck), a friend and former co-worker, offers pills and a suggestion: pay a guy to pretend to be a pool cleaner and seduce his wife. If the wife resists, then Joel can’t cheat and they have to work things out. If she does then Joel has the “moral clearance” to cheat on her.

Enter Cindy (Kunis), a new temp with ideas of her own. A criminal vagabond, she finds out about a mishap at the factory and applies as a temp to work there. She plays both sides against the middle: she gets into Joel’s “good graces” as well as dating the worker, “Step,” and getting him to use local big shot lawyer Lou Adler (Gene Simmons) to sue the company for more than it’s worth.

I enjoyed the movie. Small, unassuming, and not a bad way to kill 90 minutes on a weekend. Mike Judge uses his “lovable loser who gets in over his head” formula (see also “Office Space”) and it works well with Bateman. Mila Kunis is great as the femme fatale; the opening scene where she takes a guitar is laugh-out-loud funny. David Koechner is great as the neighbor who won’t go away no matter how much you want him to. Finally, Ben Affleck as a spiritual healer/friend/bartender is worth watching in and of itself.

If the movie had any faults, it’s that it didn’t strive to be great. Sometimes, striving for enjoyable is good enough and having went through a decade of “Scary Movie” gross-out humor, “Date/Epic/Not Remotely Funny” parody movies, bad Kevin Smith stuff, and whatever Judd Apatow script had been sitting on a shelf, it’s nice to have this comedy come around. It might not be “The Hangover,” “Tropic Thunder,” “Dodgeball,” or even Judge’s cult-favorite, “Office Space,” but I enjoyed it.

Should you go see it? I can’t say that it’s worth the full $10, but I would put it as a matinée, $1 movie/second-run, or even a rental.

My grade: satisfactory B

Movie News and Views June 19, 2009 Poster Edition

 

All the Hollywood news fit to blog!

– Kevin Williamson is currently hard at work on “Scream 4.” His work just got harder because star Neve Campbell isn’t interested in coming back.

– Shia LeBeouf and Frank Marshall have confirmed “Indiana Jones 5” is in pre-production stage which (hopefully) means that hopefully it’ll get done before the ill-fated “Raiders of the Lost 401k” becomes a reality.

– M. Night Shamma-lamma-ding-dong is currently proposing a 2^nd “Unbreakable” movie. I hate to say it but the title “Intolerable Cruelty” has already been used.

– There is current controversy in regards to Christopher Nolan returning to the “Batman” franchise. Purportedly he’s going to finish his current film “Inception” before deciding to do anything. If Nolan does not return to the “Bats,” there is a possibility that Christian Bale won’t, either. I can see Joel Schumacher waiting in the wings…

– “Teen Wolf” to be remade. yay.

– “Bride of Frankenstein” is being remade.

– Rumor-mill: Michael Sheen as “Blofeld” in “James Bond 23?”

– Sean Penn leaves “The Three Stooges” production.

– Roy Rogers will be riding back on to the silver screen, at least in franchise form.

– The live-action “Akira” movie is dead.

– Ron Howard has signed on to direct the “Stretch Armstrong” movie slated for release April 15, 2011. I got nothin’…

– Hugo Weaving will return as Elrond for “The Hobbit.”

– Mickey Rourke will play “Whiplash” in “Iron Man 2.”

– Joe Carnahan (“Narc,” “Smokin’ Aces”) will be directing the new “A-Team” movie and Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper are in negotiations for it.

– “Monsters, Inc.” will get a sequel.

– John Stamos is working on developing a “Full House” movie. I’m guessing a “Family Matters” movie is next?

– “Predator,” “Total Recall,” and “Commando” are slated for remakes. Is anyone interested in remaking the “also starring Ahnuld” movie “Junior?”

– And a “Short Circuit” remake is “Johnny-Five alive.”

– “Heathcliff” will coming to the big screen.

– Dreamworls Animation schedule:

How to Train Your Dragon (March 26th, 2010): Directed by Chris Sanders (Lilo & Stitch) and Dean DeBlois (Lilo & Stitch), and will star Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler, America Ferrera, Jonah Hill, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Craig Ferguson, Kristen Wiig and TJ Miller. Set in the mythical world of burly Vikings and wild dragons, the story centers around a teenager who lives on the island of Berk, where fighting dragons is a way of life. But when he encounters – and ultimately befriends – an injured dragon, his world is turned upside down.

Shrek Forever After (May 21st, 2010): Directed by Mike Mitchell and will feature the original all-star cast, including Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz and Antonio Banderas.

Oobermind (November 5th, 2010): Formerly titled “Master Mind.” Directed by Tom McGrath (Madagascar) and will star Robert Downey Jr. and Tina Fey. When super villain Oobermind defeats his archrival Metro Man, the world should be his oyster. But instead, Oobermind falls into total despair. It turns out that life without a rival is life without a point for him. So he creates a new superhero rival. Unfortunately, the new hero wants to be a super villain too.

Kung Fu Panda: The Kaboom of Doom (June 3rd, 2011): The next chapter of the 2008 blockbuster is directed by Jennifer Yuh Nelson and will feature the return of the original all-star cast, including Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu and David Cross. A new villain has emerged with a mysterious weapon so powerful it threatens the very existence of kung fu. It is up to Po and the Furious Five to protect all that they know. But first, Po must confront his long lost past.

The Guardians (November 4th, 2011): Directed by Jeff Lynch. The world’s five unlikeliest heroes – Jack Frost, North (aka Santa), Bunnymund (the Easter Bunny), Tooth (the Tooth Fairy), and Sandy (the Sandman) – must band together to stop an ancient spirit called Pitch (the Boogeyman) from plunging the world into eternal darkness.

Puss in Boots (March 30th, 2012): Directed by Chris Miller and will star Antonio Banderas as Puss In Boots and Salma Hayek as Kitty, Puss’ love interest. Swords will cross and hearts will be broken in this adventure starring one of the most beloved characters of the Shrek universe – Puss In Boots. It’s a swashbuckling ride through Puss’s early years as he teams with mastermind Humpty Dumpty and the street-savvy Kitty to steal the famed Goose that lays the Golden Eggs.

Madagascar 3 (May 25th, 2012): Directed by Eric Darnell (Madagascar). Alex the Lion, Marty the Zebra, Gloria the Hippo, and Melman the Giraffe are still fighting to get home to their beloved Big Apple; King Julien, Maurice and the Penguins are along for the adventure. This time the road takes them through Europe where they find the perfect cover: a traveling circus, which they reinvent Madagascar style!

– Guy Ritchie to remake “Guys and Dolls.”

– Fox remaking “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” I wanna puke.

– “Anchorman 2” is green for go.

And that’s all the news I got, people. Thanks to WorstPreviews.com and JoBlo.com for the info!